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Frequently Asked Questions

What sort of problems does the Parent Infant Project at the Anna Freud Centre help with?

It helps with any kind of problems in the family that are likely to affect the development of a baby under 12 months. For example, if there has been a loss in the family of a grandparent or sibling, or a twin-in-utero, this might affect bonding between the mother or father and baby. If there’s been a loss through divorce or abandonment this can also affect the relationship with the baby of the parent who remains. If there are mental health problems in the parent they might preoccupy the parent to the extent that it’s difficult to relate to baby’s needs.

What happens in a therapy session and how will it help me?

It’s what is broadly called a talking therapy in the sense that we will get to know each other and get to trust each other. The therapist will get to know your baby and your baby will get to know the therapist and, hopefully, get to like and trust the therapist. We will all sit on the floor and talk, watch the baby, share our thoughts about things that are developing; you will tell me things that are going well for you, or not going well for you in your everyday life, and discuss issues that come up from your past at the pace that you feel you can handle safely.

Should I bring my partner?

Always. Because your partner is the father of the baby, whether the biological father or the parenting father, and the baby experiences his father just as much as he experiences you. So, from your baby’s point of view he will have his mummy and his daddy in the room and you and your partner might find it very helpful to you as a couple to think about your relationship now that you’ve got your baby as well.

If other people, like family members or friends or neighbours, know I am getting advice, how do I cope with their comments?

Do you think these other people might be curious? Do you think they might be judgmental? Do you think that they will not respect you afterwards? I think it depends on how you feel about it yourself in the first place, and then how confidently and matter-of-factly you present it to the others.

Do you mind if a parent asks for your help more than once?

First of all we hope it will only be a one off session if that’s all that’s needed. But if there’s more needed, we hope you’ll stay for the course of what feels right in terms of the help at that point in time. And then if things come up later on, as they often do, you will be welcome to contact us again and it will be either our service or another service at the Anna Freud Centre, depending on the age of your child, who will be able to offer some help.

 Will this sort of help be able to help me as my children grow up? Will it give me skills to know what to do?

Well in a sense there’s a process of growing up with your baby. When he or she is tiny they need certain things, for example, they need you to respond to every need immediately. When he’s a little bit bigger he can wait a bit and that waiting is a very important experience to him as long as he doesn’t get overwhelmed, because it’s building up the capacity to postpone gratification. For example, at school he can wait until it’s his turn to talk. Or in a peer group situation he can share the attention of the teacher or the playgroup leader with other children. So I think that parents go through a process of growing up with their children if they continue to be sensitive to the different stages of their baby’s development as a person, and then they will recognise and respond to what the baby’s saying to them; “give me a little more space now”, or “even though I’m five I still need a baby like cuddle.”

If I’m concerned about someone else, for example a relative or partner, what are some signals that might encourage me to suggest they may need a referral?

Ask them some very simple questions like how are you feeling? Are you enjoying this enough? Do you feel something’s missing for you? Would you like to talk to someone?

Can I refer myself?

Yes, just call the Anna Freud Centre on 020 7443 2313.

How do I pay for the service?

We ask families for financial contributions on a contribute-as-you-can-afford basis, so that we can offer this service to everyone who needs it. No family will be refused help if they can’t pay.