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Aggression

A child needs an adult to help them to find ways to understand and express their difficult feelings. If a child feels anger very strongly, but hasn’t yet learnt what it is, it is likely to feel both unpleasant and overwhelming.

What's normal?

Aggressive behaviour starts from a feeling of intense emotion (like anger, fear, annoyance or frustration). It may be verbal or physical and as such, can be emotionally and physically harmful to another person. Examples include hitting, pinching, swearing, saying something mean, biting or scratching. Most young children will show aggressive behaviour at times, and it is a normal part of child development. Sometimes the feeling of being angry is justified – a young child may have had their toy stolen or feel left out, or they may feel anxious or in need of attention. The difficulty is they cannot process this feeling, and that is where the adult comes in.

A child needs an adult to help them to find ways to understand and express their difficult feelings. If a child feels anger very strongly, but hasn’t yet learnt what it is, it is likely to feel both unpleasant and overwhelming. Adults can help them understand the feeling and make it manageable without a behaviour (verbal or physical) that will hurt them or others. Our role as adults in the child’s life is to help to moderate and contain these feelings, and this in turn then leads to the aggression decreasing as the feelings become less overwhelming.

Young children may also not yet understand that their behaviour can hurt others, or they may not yet be empathic for the upset or pain they’re causing. Thoughtful, caring adults can support children to learn and feel safe enough to think of others.

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We have a selection of resources for early years wellbeing including working with babies & young children on digital platforms.