Young Champion Kirsty reflects on her experience with body image

Raise your hand if you've ever looked in the mirror and been left feeling utterly deflated. Believe me, you're not alone; I have both hands raised too! Thinking about it, I don’t really know anyone who is completely satisfied with their body. It's either too big, too small, too short, with blotches, pimples, wrinkles, and hair in the wrong places.

We are surrounded by a society where body shaming yourself is more socially acceptable than saying “wow, I look amazing!” without being seen as boastful or arrogant. Walk into any newsagents, and you will see a shelf filled with magazines that perpetuate highly unrealistic expectations of both men and women, despite years of controversy.

From the fashion industry to the workplace, we are constantly facing backward representations of ‘ideals’ that continue to influence our daily lifestyles. If I think about my average morning, I probably spend 75% of my time focused on covering up my imperfections with makeup, using extensions for my thin hair, and recycling my outfit millions of times before I go out, still feeling dissatisfied.

For someone who is recovering from anorexia, body image is something I battle with frequently. After having to gain weight during a six-month hospitalization last year to restore my physical health, managing this drastic change still affects me daily. I find looking in full-length mirrors incredibly difficult, knowing it can ruin my day or even set back my progress by weeks. I try to avoid them at all costs.

This avoidance isn’t healthy, just as compulsively body checking isn't. It's questionable why I’d give a sheet of glass such power over me.

Recently in therapy, we covered the topic of perception as the mental representation one creates. Naturally, I was skeptical, believing it was a hoax just to make me feel better. But then my therapist said this to me:

“Look at the wall, it’s just a wall, right? Now notice that tiny grey scuff and quickly turn away.”

I did just that, wondering what on earth he was on about.

“OK, now turn back and try to look at the wall as a whole without noticing the mark.”

I couldn’t.

See, this is what we do to our bodies. We scan over them, viewing each perceived flaw until this is all that is left. We scrutinize the size of our forehead, nose, thighs, or stomach, internally labeling ourselves as “one big mess.”

But surely, this could be easily changed with surgery or a simple diet? WRONG. In fact, this fuels the obsession itself.

In my experience, I have spent years trying to change certain aspects of my shape and body. I devoted so much time to it, becoming miserable, yet never once—despite all the weight loss—did I ever look in the mirror and see anything other than what I wanted to change. It's a toxic cycle that no amount of surgery, dieting, or covering up will ever permanently fix. It’s like trying to make a bulldog look like a whippet—inhumane and certainly impossible.

What we need to do instead is learn acceptance. We need to find the root of what is making us reflect badly. Is that image distorted by a lack of self-confidence, overwhelming emotions, attitudes influenced by childhood, or maybe just that overdue assignment? We should tackle this first because how you feel on the inside is what truly reflects in your eyes.

Body confidence, for me, has never come from trying to achieve the “perfect.” It's more of a combination of self-love, compassion, and embracing the reasons you were given your body. Now that I understand living is more than just existing in physical form, I am dedicating my time to believing it and slowly gaining back what I lost to my illness.

...Apologize to your body and let the healing begin…