Letter to my younger self by Nicola, Anna Freud Parent Champion for World Mental Health Day

Listening to lived experience

On Saturday 10 October it's World Mental Health Day, which this year focuses on how the voices of lived experience can create change.

Across this week we will hear from the people that use their voice to shape our work and help us to transform mental health care for children, young people and families.

This includes people like Nicola, one of our Parent Champions. Our team of Young Champions and Parent and Carer Champions work with us to ensure that their experiences of mental health or as young people, help shape the work we do.

Nicola wanted to mark World Mental Health Day by writing a letter to her younger self about how she eventually found her voice to talk about mental health, and the impact this has had.

Nicola's letter

Dear Younger Nicola,

I wish I could talk to you for just a few minutes. I want to tell you that all the things you are feeling, but don't yet have the words for, will one day begin to make sense. The emotions you struggle to explain don't make you difficult or weak. Even though you haven't found your voice yet, you will.

I know you feel frustrated, lost and misunderstood. You become very good at hiding it. On the outside, you smile, but inside your mind never stops. You analyse, question, rehearse conversations and worry about things that haven't even happened. The trauma you have faced has added to that; you feel as though everyone else is somehow worth more than you, but you really do matter, and so much more than you realise.

You can't imagine it now, but one day you will speak, and people will listen. You will use your voice to talk about mental health, advocate for others and challenge the stigma that still stops so many people from speaking. You will understand what silence feels like, which is why you will want other people to know that they don't have to struggle quietly or feel ashamed of asking for help. The shame is not yours to carry.

Most importantly, you will discover the power of participation in mental health. You will learn that people with lived experience, and the families who support them, shouldn't simply be recipients of services. They should have a voice in shaping those services. Their experiences can show professionals what works, what doesn't, where people fall through the gaps and what support actually feels like to the person receiving it. Participation means taking those experiences seriously and using them to help create services that are more compassionate, accessible and responsive to people's real needs.

Becoming a Parent Champion at Anna Freud will give you the opportunity to be part of that. You will use your experiences and perspective to help shape mental health services for children, young people and families. You will sit alongside others, share what you have learned, listen to their experiences and help make sure the voices of parents and families are part of the conversations that lead to change. You will realise that participation isn't simply about being invited to speak. It's about being heard, being valued and having the opportunity to influence what happens next.

That will mean more to you than you can imagine right now. The girl who once struggled to explain what was happening inside her will one day use her voice to help shape services for others. You will grow in confidence, learn from other people who have found their voices and encourage more people to speak up, because every lived experience has the potential to teach us something and improve things for the person who comes next.

So, younger Nicola, please believe me when I tell you that your voice is there. Finding it won't only change you; it will give you the chance to help create change for others too.

Your voice matters. Their voices matter. Participation matters. Nicola, you have no idea how proud I am of you for that.

Nicola - The woman you haven't yet become.

Get involved and share your voice

At Anna Freud embedding meaningful participation is about strengthening opportunities for children, young people and families to have a voice, and influence what we do.

Listening to the voices and experiences of those who use and deliver services, alongside connecting research, clinical innovation and practice is our distinctive strength. We don't just share what we know – we translate evidence, lived experience and expertise into practical learning that professionals and students can use.

Learn more about our Champions programme and other ways to get involved in participation at Anna Freud. Joining us in sharing your voice increases our knowledge and understanding, helps us to achieve scientific breakthroughs, and supports the wellbeing of the next generation.